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How I solved my homeless problem
September 17th, 2010 | 
Author: Sometimes we get so caught up in our little problems (like me for instance, my acting career, my allergies, my newfound inability to have ANY dairy) that our lives- for just a second- seem of the “why me??” emotional place. I have realized this truth: even for that one second we have lost our connection to gratitude for the things that we do have, along with an almost unconscious expectation that suffering isn’t supposed to happen to us.
Nothing drives this home for me more than seeing a homeless person. And I would venture to guess that nothing drives our “American Dream” mentality further from the reality than seeing a homeless guy standing at the corner, while we are bumping along listening to our Ipods and wondering about where we are going for dinner.
I am sure most of you have the same experience as I do, depending on one’s mood as to how we deal with encountering suffering so concretely. Personally I go from “I hope he doesn’t talk to me” to “let’s see what I have to spare” to “I’ll just give him whatever he asks for.”
The last thought I had to work myself into, because it was scary for me. When I make myself a promise, even in my head, I make an effort to stay 100% true to it. (That way I’ve learned my words and thoughts have power and integrity.) In any case, I didn’t want to think that- “I’ll just give him whatever he asks for,” because I was afraid of, well, what he would ask for.
After a few weeks of mulling his promise to myself in my mind, I realized something: What is the most I have ever been asked for? Really? IF one thinks about it, the homeless don’t ask for much. “Spare a little change?” “Do you have a dollar you can spare?” No one ever has said, “Can you give me a million dollars?” Or even, “Do you have a fiver I can bum off you?”
So I gave myself the promise. I would give WHATEVER I was asked for.
And the results were surprising. I wasn’t veering away from the bum on the street. I stopped pretending that the guy on the corner was holding out a cup. I just walked by and made eye contact. “Can you spare some change?”
Yes I could. And this subtle shift was profound in a very interior way. It made me feel the abundance and gratitude of my life, that I could give someone help, what they were asking for, and not have to lie and say, “No sorry I don’t.”
After this subtle shift, I was not coincidentally asked to help out at a “Pampering Day for the Homeless” by my friend Jennifer Jessum. (pics included!) She took this compassion a step further, organizing a day where we as volunteers gave manicures, massages and health checkups to any homeless person who wanted to come in. I realized by giving I started to connect more with them as people, interacting and communicating, seeing where they came from and how they were doing today.
To be ready to answer YES to the homeless question- released a fear in me, a scarcity that was learned and also reinforced by my own habits. I could feel that it opened an invisible door to abundance- and that’s something each one of us could have more of, right?
Source: Roy Vongtama
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Making things a no brainer
“Roy, you think too much.” I have heard that over and over again in my life, as I tried to figure out things that were problematic for me. I remember playing golf as a little kid (when my dad had dreams of me being a pro golfer)- I was at the range and I could hit the ball super straight and long- except it was only on the range. When I got on the course, my swing disappeared. I tried to control it by controlling my swing to try to make to ball go where I wanted it to go.
Of course it never did what I wanted it to. But then I was only fourteen, give a kid a break.
That’s what I kept saying to myself, but as time as gone on, the issue has kept coming up- from girlfriends to sports to acting. I would step on my own foot, any time it mattered to me. It finally came time to admit that my best asset, my brain, was getting in the way of the flow of things.
I had a meeting yesterday and (watch my words!!) I was trying to figure out if the person sitting across from me was a good fit for me. My mind started to make pros and cons and I was pushing and pulling, grappling with his objective strengths and weaknesses.
Later after speaking about the meeting to my confidantes, and expressing my not-sure-edness, one of them asked, “Why do you have to decide right now?” I said, “Because…” and stopped. She was right, I didn’t.
After I left and got home, I sat down in stillness. I was very aware of my brain “trying to figure it out.” The phrase “I want it to be a no-brainer” popped into my consciousness. I thought to myself, WOW. It struck me how perfect that phrase is. A no-brainer. We often THINK we made a decision with our minds, but in reality, it comes from a deep intuitive place, well BEYOND the mind- in our gut, in our intuitive intelligence.
We make it a no-brainer by using something other than our brains to NOT “make a decision” but rather have the truth be revealed. And thus the dilemma has become a no-brainer. Albert Einstein said, “The mind that created a problem cannot solve it.” I know that to be true.
We need to go beyond that mind place and tap into that stillness. The clarity of that stillness will give us the truth.
On that note, a second realization came to me: my need to MAKE A DECISION RIGHT NOW was my mind playing tricks on me. After all, the important events that require a decision take time. If it’s important, let patience prevail. This is if you are painting the Mona Lisa. If you are deciding on wall paint, then not as much patience is required. Although even that takes more time than we like to give ourselves.
Trust more, obsess less.
“After periods during which one as actively tried to solve a problem, but has not succeeded, the sudden right orientation of the situation, and with it the solution, tend to occur at moments of extreme mental passivity…A well known physicist in Scotland once told me that this kind of thing is generally recognized by physicists in Britain. We often talk about the three B’s- the Bus, the Bath, and the Bed. That’s where the great discoveries are made in our science.“
-Wolfgang Kohler
Source: Roy Vongtama
Anthill by E.O.Wilson
Growing up, I remember fondly exploring my back garden and searching for all the different creatures I could find. I used to shake the bushes, causing all the insects and other creatures to fall to the ground so then I can collect them in my container to view under my magnifying glass. My fascination is still with me all these years later.
I recently watched a wonderful documentary on PBS called Lord of the Ants, it is about one mans life passion for the living world. His name is Edward Osbourne Wilson, otherwise known as E.O. Wilson, and he is an American biologist, who throughout is life, has studied animal behavior, using ants as his studying species.
He devised a model for social behaviors from studying ants, his theories are fascinating and have led him to be a two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize for General Non-Fiction. His prize winning books are ‘On Human Nature’ and ‘The Ants’.
His latest book, ‘Anthill‘ is fictional novel about a boy’s summer adventures in the wilderness, growing up to become a keen explorer.
Mr. Wilson’s latest goal is to have all the world’s living organisms stored in a central database. From this idea, came the website, www.eol.org, this is an electronic encyclopedia of life. This site provides users the opportunity to learn all about the different living species on earth. It is a global partnership between scientists and the general public, and anyone can sign up as an EOL member to add text, images, videos and comments. Expert curators ensure the quality of the material by authenticating the collection submitted.
I think this website is an excellent idea, it gives anyone the chance to explore the world’s living organisms. Every year, new species are being unearthed, this website therefore is ever changing, documenting these new findings. Along with information on existing species becoming better known, it works as an important up to date resource for everyone.
Source: Dave Roberts
Why don’t those foreigners speak English? (or The Imperfection of English)
How many times have you heard this unfortunate phrase? I have heard it a bunch in my life, and unfortunately I have thought something similar (especially when in a NYC cab and the driver speaks on his cell in Arabic the whole ride on his Sprint anytime minutes plan.)
I have often wondered in my childhood at the ridiculous sounds I have heard people use in other languages, sounds we probably only use when bringing up some phlegm or lifting something super heavy.
I used also to get very angry at my Arabic and Indian friends who could not translate things for me to English when asked. They usually came back with: “there’s no translation.” (And I used to think they were lazy or elitist for not trying.)
As I have grown up a bit since my college years (not much) I started to consider the possibility that “Hey, maybe it’s me. And not them.” So I started to do some language studies and come up with this startling fact: English is an imperfect and incomplete language!! That’s right folks, America is not the center of the Universe!
Take a look at the diagram to the right:
1.”English” is the box in the middle.
2.The circle labelled “Language” is the full verbal capacity that humans have at their disposal.
3. The larger circle labelled “Expression” is the full expressive capacity that humans have. (Drawn to scale, this circle would be about ten times larger.)
No wonder there is miscommunication between cultures, between people. We’re starting out with only 80% of the language capacity! There are other more complete languages, for example, Saskrit contains over 95% of the sounds that a human can make.
We use English and will probably continue to use English as it is the main economic language of the world, driving the financial markets and any sort of “result oriented” speech.
But it fails miserably oftentimes when one is trying to express EMOTION. How many times have you tried to express yourself and not found the words? (My hand is up- and I apologize to the ex’s on that.)
I have been guilty of judging that supposedly awkward guy who can’t succintly express how he feels: “I’m doing, well, I guess, OK…if you count, oh here, I mean all together, pretty good. Mostly.” When I would say, “I’m fine, thanks.”
The truth is he/she is trying to express the full truth of how he feels, as completely and accurately as possible- and I have been trying to fit my feelings to those three words.
This of course isn’t an excuse for those whose hyper-verbosity heads to ridiculous lengths, but it should give us more compassion for those who seem verbally awkward- when seen in a different light, it is quite beautiful.
PS- And how wonderful is it to find an actor whose capacity for expression fills out beyond the words? How wonderful is it to find that writer or poet who can use this incomplete language to accurately give us a taste of the magic that lies beyond the squares of English?
He who binds himself a joy
Doth the winged life destroy
He who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise.
-William Blake
Source: Roy Vongtama
Coughing up a lung
I’ve had this cough for four weeks. First it started as a cold- I was feeling a little lousy, and had some chills. Then a small cough started which I didn’t pay any attention to.
We all lead busy lives, and mine is no exception- I focused on my day, figuring “the cough” would go away. Also I felt better as I had asked an MD colleague of mine if I should be concerned, and he brushed it off too- “No big deal. You have a post viral cough. They can last for four to six weeks.” I was like NICE. No need to worry about it! (Ignorance is bliss!)
Well , it is until the truth comes crashing down. About a week ago, people started saying things like, “Man that sounds nasty,” and “Dude…wow. Are you ok?” I started to notice some “Stuff” coming up. It was white and a little yellow. Then backstage (I’m in a play) a few days ago, I started coughing and it went on for about a minute straight.
This coughing fit finally gave me a grand realization: “This is a little more serious than I thought.” (Gong!)
In my defense, I have always had an aversion (like any good doctor) to seeing doctors, and I first went to the homeopathic route, getting some raw bee honey, eating raw garlic, which I just assumed would work if I just took them a few times. (Which of course makes no sense because nothing works like that in western medicine.) I again just ignored the cough until two days ago when I realized that I couldn’t hear very well and my sinuses were draining like Niagara Falls.
I realized at this point: YOU HAVE TO GET SOME OUTSIDE HELP YOU NOW.
As I write this, I am looking back at it: FOUR WEEKS NONSTOP OF A COUGH? and you just realize it now??
The lesson I learned (am learning) is that because of the EGO of my “medical knowledge base” I figured I wasn’t sick, because I didn’t have any systemic symptoms (like a fever, fatigue, muscle soreness) and thus I didn’t need to do anything special.
So yesterday I went to my primary doctor and after examining me she said, “You have bronchitis and it’s moved up into your sinuses now. You’re lucky your immune system is young.” She gave me a prescription for Avalox, which is a super powerful antibiotic. I went to the pharmacy and got the ten pills and right at the top, it said, “MAY CAUSE TENDON RUPTURE.”
Great.
I realized I had no idea of another option, so I literally had to take my medicine this time. I am sure the homeopathic crowd reading this is gasping, but this whole thing taught me another lesson I keep having to learn: There’s always room for improvement. In this case, herbal cures and remedies, something not taught in medical school.
I asked around for herbal advice (and got a LOT), but only after I had started the antibiotics. I again had to admit: I don’t have the knowledge base nor did I have the awareness to use these herbal remedies when they would have been most effective. Taking them now on their own when there was a full-fledged infection going on seemed like trying to blow out a forest fire.
Thankfully the antibiotics have started working, but at the possible expense of clearing out all my good bacteria in my gut and possible tendonitis.
I’ve learned my lesson: I will get on this herbal education ASAP!
Source: Roy Vongtama
Why I would marry baking soda if it were a human.
My love affair with baking soda began when I started using vegetable oil in my diesel truck. Using WVO is a pretty simple process (which I talked about in a previous blog), but until you get the hang of it, it can ruin many a good pair of shoes. Oil doesn’t just come out. When you washing machine it on fabric, it spreads. When you car wash it, it stays.
A friend of mine recommended trying baking soda to take off the oil stains from my truck. It took barely much scrubbing, where various soap concoctions had failed. I always carry some in my truck now.
Baking soda is traditionally used for, duh, baking. Almost everyone has one in a fridge for odors, and know that the box says that it can be used as an antacid. Bicarbonate was also used like a soap by the ancient Egyptians, and most toothpastes have some in it.
But how’s this for a sweet green recipe, courtesy of an old roommate of mine: Baking soda as drain opener! Don’t buy those toxic sludges that affect your health and that of the oceans (most regular drain cleaners contain lye) and try this instead.
This is how you do it:
- Get baking soda and vinegar. Any vinegar seems to work, but I’d just go for plain.
- Boil some water.
- Sprinkle about three tablespoons of baking soda into the drain.
- Pour 1/3 of the bottle of vinegar on top. Warning: It will fizz up but won’t explode.
- Wait about 15 minutes, and then pour all the boiling water down the drain.
Voila! A non-toxic solution to low flow.
This got me thinking: since baking soda is good as a drain opener, and has also been used by aestheticians for ingrown hairs, surely it must be good for the occasional zit? I started using baking soda to scrub my face in the evenings, and it
Source: Maya Lilly